Adventure Time Rap Battles!
by ADarkSide0125
Summary: Welcome to the Adventure Time Rap Battles! Featured Adventure Time characters will be using their words as weapons in this epic parody of ERB. Review suggestions and who won! The eighteenth rap battle: Jake vs. Party Pat!
1. Flame Prince vs Prince Gumball

Hello everyone! I'm back, yo! This is the Adventure Time Rap Battles, inspired by Epic Rap Battles of History by Nicepeter and EpicLloyd. Send some suggestions and decide who will battle by reviewing. That's it. Peace!

Featuring:

The Prince of the Fire Kingdom: FLAME PRINCE!

And, the Prince of the Candy Kingdom, PRINCE GUMBALL!

Begin!

FP:

You audience gotta check this out, this man's gotta have to pay,

Because Fionna says I have to melt some loser gays,

So be in your Candy Palace and sit up your throne like a freak,

By the way, Bonnibel says you don't even have a d***!

Why are you wearing pink princely clothes, are you out of your mind?

She left you for my sake, why can't see, are you really blind?

Just bow down to me, or else I'll melt you so bad,

Just make sure to never disturb me or make me so fricking mad!

PG:

Oh, you burning idiot, you think you are actually better,

You burnt her half to death, and then I took care of her,

That's why she chose me, I'm more vacant and clever than you do,

I have actually a kingdom myself, ya little no-goody-two-shoe!

Mama's boy, just go home and mourn in your stupid magic lamp,

I wish I hated you more than Marshall Lee the lanky vamp,

C'mon loser, before I extinguish your flames with a bag of ice,

Coz' I'll win your heart with jealousy in your own eyes!

FP:

Yo prince, you rap here and there thinking you are the boss,

I'm evil, but Fionna like-likes me, so feel sorrow in your own loss,

You don't even have the guts to thank your little peppermint maid,

You're gonna die a virgin, wait, that punk Marshall Lee had got ya laid!

PG:

You think that you're prim, go scream like Lemongrab on your marriage dream,

Burn your people, your brain's not equal, your mind's a whipped-up cream,

Go, I'll release mah dis until you kiss Death, you little prince,

Because the candy's got ya dandy wrapped-up, ya mohawked girly jeans!

**WHO WON?! WHO'S NEXT?! YOU DECIDE!**


	2. Cake the Cat vs Me-Mow

Hello! I'm back, yo! I'm posting the second battle and I really need to find new characters. Or else this won't continue. Anyway, welcome back:

Featuring:

Hero Partner of The Heroes of Aaa: CAKE THE CAT!

And, the 2nd Rank Assassin: ME-MEOW THE CAT!

BEGIN!

Cake:

You're calling yourself cute? No I ain't, since you always try to kill,

I can't hear you over your voice that is tiny and shrill,

Too lazy to fight, you're so arrogant and weak,

Rather be fighting Ice Queen than you, you silly freak!

Poor assassin cat, you shold've brought off into jail,

You cannot kill Wildberry Princess coz' you're an epic fail!

Idiot, you're only will forever be second class,

Cause I'll grow smaller and stick your dagger up you're a-!

Me-Mow:

I already expected a ton of junk already from your raps, Cake,

You should be kicked out of Adventure Time, you're just a lousy fake,

Why in the world could Fionna consider you her sis,

Considering you can't even spit out a decent dis?

Your puny stretchy powers are nothing to my rank,

I'm actually studying , you're just a lazy, old weakly skank,

When I see you again, I'll climb up your stinky nose,

And inject you will foul poison and let you see that I'm your throes!

Cake:

This gal's ain't studying, baby, this is a fricking lie,

You're bringing an antidote when you use poison, what you're tryin' to imply,

This is the final straw for me, I hope you came prepared,

That's right, loser, it's time to get really scared!

Me-Mow:

Just get out of my sight and sleep with your black monochromicorn,

Before I cut short your life 28 years after your born,

Bow down now to me, you poor excuse of a cat,

After this, I'm gonna graduate for lyrically stomped you flat!

Who won! Who's next! You decide! Review if you want your favorite caharcters to battle, to say who do you think you won, or give advice about writing great raps! Flames from you will be used for an upcoming battle with Flame King and …..! Add to Favs and thnx!


	3. BMO vs NEPTR

Whassup, fans? I'm clearly running out of ideas, but still I got them up my sleeve. I got new projects coming soon, and I wish they could come out soon. Five hundred views and something exciting will happen! Anyways, hope ya like it.

Featuring:

The game module, BMO! (Hello! If anyone tries to steal my title of Best Robot, I will kill them!)

The pranking module, NEPTR! (Hi! Vote on me to become the Best Robot! Coz' BMO's goin' down!)

BEGIN!

BMO:

You better give up, I'm the better one for Finn and Jake,

Better not cross paths with me anymore, because that is for your own sake,

I can do a lot of things, you're just a piece of junk Finn made,

You're just a useless robot who was been poorly mislaid!

You need a piece of Ice King's lightning, that's why you became a nerd,

Beware, because my lethal raps can get you burned,

Never Finn remembered you when you three played hide-and-seek,

You're just trash to be pranked upon, you poorly misled freak!

Neptr:

How can you burn me, I can build fireproof suits,

You're just a little game console, just that, you metal caboose,

My pranks are better than your puny old-style Kancho prank,

Because when it comes to The Best Robot, I'm 100% sure I'm in first rank!

Call me sensei, because I'm wiser than your binary brain,

I'm the Ice Prince, because I'm created by the genes of my father who's insane,

Bow down to me, or I'll destroy you, A-grade style,

Brace yourself, because my venom pie raps are gonna sting, you pedophile,

BMO:

I can do football and skateboarding, you don't even have feet,

I'll kick you're a** out, but you're just too obsolete,

Wish you were never born, curse you little spark of lightning,

Just go back in the lonely basement and don't let me hear you crying!

Neptr:

Call me a crybaby, call you a fool who talks in his reflection,

Sadly, you cannot be a real boy, sulk off and feel my terror,

This is the last dis from me that will ruin your good image,

Thought you could keep Loraine for yourself by joining in one scrimmage?

Well, one thing though, you would have been f***ed up so bad,

If I didn't give you something now you never had!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

So, that's the third installment. I need suggestions! Anyway, the last four lines of Neptr will be explained in the fifth chapter of my other story, "Betrayal". It is about the fight between BMO and Ronnie that eventually turned riotous ad bloody. Just wait for it, anyway! So, I hope you review who won and I NEED suggestions! Anyway, thnx for reading!


	4. Magic Man vs Marshall Lee

Hello guys, I'm back yo! Just a reminder, do not review suggestions that are nevertheless nonsense. Not to offend, I mean there must be something to fight for: Flame Prince and Gumball Prince compete for Fionna's heart, Cake and Me-Mow battle for the title of the best cat, BMO and Neptr for the title for the best robot and this new one, Marshall Lee and Magic Man, whose the best trickster. Just a reminder. Enjoy! I might consider Finn and Jake or Flame King versus Ice King. Other notes at the end. Enjoy!

Featuring:

The Bicentennial Jerk, the MAGIC MAN!

And the Vampire King, MARSHALL LEE!

BEGIN!

Magic Man:

You fang face, how you sped up the pace and tell yourself you will be at first place,

I'm brother of a freaking god, phase after phase and you're a disgrace

Vocalize and emphasize the day when he actually dies,

That raining night alight when the blight got revealed, his mother had eaten his fries,

I've got Prince Gumball waiting, just to get you two hitched,

You have a psychotic evil mom, that's why I call you son-of-a-b****,

You just showed up in that episode just as a freaking cameo,

Thought you can handle Stubby Bunny, no, because you're just not Romeo!

Marshall Lee:

Look at the one homeless man who has no love, no life, no work,

All you do is just be around as a freaking and leaking jerk,

All you can do was making people mutant body parts,

Or waxing and waning other people's lonely hearts,

Banished in Earth, oh poor little brother's the one being bullied now,

I'll vow to diss this one to allow you to relax safe and sound,

You call this piece of s*** your palace, you kidding me, M&M,

Thought when you still continue being a jerk, you will be uncondemned?

Magic Man:

Vampire's here, be scared now, he just unfair, he doesn't even care,

Just along as he hugs his poor allured assured teddy bear,

Burned in sunlight, even in night, just spite an SPF 75 in it,

Open your mouth wide, don't dare spit it shove the garlic and EAT IT!

Marshall Lee:

Better not mention Hamba again, or else it's your neck I will strangle,

How about you, depressed in your chest about losing your girlfriend Margles?

Pissed in itself and with himself and delve and to think he was the better rapper,

Don't stammer and flatter yourself, don't be such a whippersnapper!

Thank you very much for reading! I hope you send suggestions according to my liking, and I hope that ths will continue. And if I get 10 favorites for this story, I will have a sneak peek at our final battles. Characters are requested from you, so if ten of you liked this enough to fav it, you will see who will battle the most final of everything. Peace!


	5. PB vs Marcy vs FP vs Fionna

Okay, folks! This is one of the epic battles ever! A four-battle between FP, Fi, Marcy and PB! Take sides now, it's gonna be epic! So, enjoy! And once this chapter is gonna go down, there'll be a surprise. So, all Finnceline, Fubblegum, Flaminn, FxF fans, this is a must-be!

* * *

Featuring:

The Princess of the Candy Kingdom, BONNIBEL BUBBLEGUM!

The Vampire Queen, MARCELINE ABADEER!

The Princess of the Fire Kingdom, FLAME PRINCESS!

And, the "Princess" of the Grasslands, FIONNA THE HEROINE!

Begin!

PB:

Don't dare to try and go to pry Finn from my wicked eye,

You said, "I love Finn, hope to die," while I say, "Love the way you lie,"

Coz' all of you aren't too much of that worthy, who told you that you did?

Because that's one thing I would do to be all-foundin' forbid,

Finn, will your heroic purity be allured to a naughty queen,

Don't you ever see that she's trying to make a scene?

Care to go to a girl who cares more for his teddy bear,

And used to remember that you were the one she always try to scare?

And Finn, do you really like fire blazin' in your skin,

I know for sure she's evil, coz' I'd lock her through her lamp thick and thin,

Forget the girl you dreamed that only shows up in a nerdy king's book,

And see what's gonna happen, so now do you really want to look?

Marcy:

What are you, a piece of trash which obeys that f***ing piece of crap,

Tired of saving her bubble butt every time, which makes your nerves to scrap and snap?

Well, I'm pissin' my diss for mah cute little baddie weenie,

F*** you all, cause it'll be me who will be taking this little Finny!

Thought you can could continue making Finn a piece of s***,

And not giving a f*** of the pains he recieved, not even a single bit?

Every one of you just causes him to moan and groan and lone with pain,

Didn't you know that the ail fails to be healed and he's going insane!?

What PB's doing in the meantime, bringing transvestites to her house,

What's FP's doing? Making pornos so my pure boy could get aroused?

What's Fionna's doing? Strippin' off her sky blue skimpy blouse,

What I'm doing? I'm now being married, becoming his only spouse!

FP:

I knew there were misunderstandings, but our passion had gotten through it,

We knew we were right for each other, coz' we're thirteen and flirtin'

Be in the embers of my desire, the blaze of our compassion,

Not compassion for the puny princess who's waiting for ya in anticipation,

That punk princess ain't getting' me there in that lamp just to get my boy,

Because you just gonna be treatin' him as a f***ing trottin' annoyed toy,

C'mon, a human and a vampire, are you willing for this crap, Finn,

Betrayed again, feeling the pain and as it twirls and as it spins,

Wherein the pain is therein and them chagrin is within,

I'll protect you from harm, coz' this battle's gonna start to begin!

Fionna:

Think ahead, and understand what PB and you would do together when you grow up,

Doing science and no adventuring or fun, do you really wanna be through this stuff,

I'm human, I'm a heroine, I'm wearing a white rabbit hat, I'm the perfect one,

Why can't you muthaf***ers know that I'm the one who really won?

We coulda been slashin' beasts and had blitzkriegs if you had stayed away,

From the flame princess, because my sister says she is CRA-AA-ZAYY!

And will you risk the chance of being evil and sadistic,

By a single bite of the vampire queen, you'll be puttin' on bloody lipstick!

So, choose me, the one which we had everythin' in common,

Let's chill in Aaa, where we could see maids and buns of cinnamon,

Can't you see that the Cosmic Owl had meant us to be together,

Be forever embraced in the ember of our love through summer and winter!

* * *

One note: This is just the uncensored version: The edited version will appear tomorrow, and I'm sorry if I made it a little ugly. I'm truly sleepy. It's one-o-clock! So, peace!


	6. Flame King vs Ice King

So, I'm back after a grueling week at school! Believe me, sleeping at 11:00 pm every night without even visiting my reviews or accessing this site is making me a little nuts. Just a reminder to all those who read this, anyone who would criticize my raps and blackmail me here in this site for no reason will get a diss track from me at the end of each story. Evil smile. Now, five more favorites and a sneak peek will be held. Enjoy! And please judge the winner by their rap, not how they appear on the episodes. That's all!

Featuring:

The King of the Fire Kingdom, FLAME KING

The Nerdy Former Antiquarian and Present Ruler of The Ice Kingdom, SIMON PETRIKROV!

BEGIN!

C'mon Ice King, who do you really think you are?

A bearded idiot who spreads his disgusting beard flakes far?

Gimme your indestructible ice armor, I'll shred it to pieces,

Get a new life, but this time please do not steal a princess!

I'm telin' ya, you'll only be in a nerdy and poor second class,

I'll give you photographs of my rear end so you won't forget mah a**,

You only just had little penguins to survive with,

No wonder thirteen year-old boys have gotten you grounded!

Ice King:

Spittin' s*** with this retarded grit beat freak in the battle of the best,

Im'ma be the one here, go smother along with the rest,

Please, my Wizard Eyes please tell me, what is that?

Wait, is it just me or he is just really that f***ing fat?

Thinkin' he's so tough, locking his daughter like he never cared,

But goes backstage and snuggles a little koala bear,

You're always furious, like your eyebrows were stuck in place,

I'll rip your armor off and shove the s*** into your face!

Flame King:

Look at your old antique crown; it has only three diamonds,

Thought he was the king of cool, but his real name was Simon!

Don't blame me for imprisoning my evil daughter for real,

The one who told me this risk was the candy you always love to steal!

Ice King:

I have actually a former queen, you can't, you fat coward,

Lucky Finn swished your old jester, cause he's the joker from my poker card,

I make my raps in Neptr's pies, so it'll literally sting,

Worthless flaming fags who don't deserve to be kings!

So it is what it is. So, now Im'ma be out, and I probably need some suggestions in my other story "Truth or Dare", if that is fine with you. I appreciate the efforts of LessThanThreexoxo, gravity 5, Bacon Pancakes XD, SuperKamiGuruFTW, victor157, and othe rfanfiction authors and guests that read my rap battles. I would like to thank RokuShio for suggesting this rap battle. That's all, thanks!


	7. Abraham Lincoln vs Death

Sorry for not returning in the Adventure Time Rap Battles for a month. I really got depression in the first 15 days which made me lock myself up and have suicidal thoughts. But don't worry about that. I was really busy in assignments and stuff, which was apparently our school's description, but anyway let's get on with it!

Abraham Lincoln:

Death, could you really do anything for a penny,

Of course, just as long as he make outs with his lover Minty,

He's been kissing Jake in the mouth; let's wait until he cums,

I bet you don't even know how to play those death metal drums!

You cannot even beat Finn until he's really dead,

You have an empty brain, that's why they call you horsehead!

Have respect for me, because I didn't grant you pardon,

Especially when you have a golden rake and Zen garden!

I'm President, your folks don't even take you seriously,

You're no John Wilkes Booth, you're a b**** who restores memory,

Come on, slaves, be freed from this Underworld ruler,

Next time, I will be truly your true leader sooner!

Death:

Where's your stovepipe hat, did you lose it in the battle?

Is it true that what you really told is what you really tell?

And shut your mouth, you even sacrificed your life for that magic dog, too,

Do you really think that your position suits you?

You really need to believe in yourself that you're not a true leader,

Get off your throne because you're just a genuine loser,

Are you sure that the male sign in your throne is true,

Abe should be turning into Babe, that name suits you!

It really bums me out when I used to remember you are cool,

This b**** just lost his immortality to a magic fool,

You cannot even distinguish Jake from Magic Man, you really make me sick,

In all of your years in that damning Mars, I say you suck d***!

Thank you for watching an dreading these Adventure Time Rap Battles for 7 consecutive battles! Bye!


	8. Dr Princess vs Betty

Sorry, if I hadn't been into this website for at least 3 months. It has been busy since, but now it's vacation, so I'm back. Now, enjoy the next rap battle!

Featuring:

The Fiancée of the King of Ice, BETTY!

The Trusted Princess of Bonnibel Bubblegum, DR. PRINCESS!

BEGIN!

Betty:

Newsflash, Dr. Princess you're nowhere near your surname,

You're permanently green with you're a** stuck out of flame,

No matter the pain, you're insane, also you're lame,

You're not his princess, so why you're fighting his fiancée,

It's absurd the world didn't call you the most nerdish nerd,

You verged my nerves, so here's a lyrical curse for you, princess nurse,

I agree wholeheartedly with the Grand Master Wizard,

There's no frickin' science in the game, so f*** off, Science Whyzard!

Dr. Princess:

What kind of episode is okay with the name "Betty Petrikrov", b****,

You're only having low niches further than mine to reach,

Congratulations on marrying an old psychotic ice witch,

Who really didn't save the world and held the bomb from the Lich!

I'm very sorry that you thought he was the best hero of all time,

No rhymes can amplify the message, so I'll try to simplify,

That you're gone from this world, so get away and cease,

Coz' I'm the one who put in your birth status, "DECEASED"!

Betty:

You stand there, calm and formal so they can't assume

That you work in the Candy Kingdom Hospital: Mental Asylum,

Boom! You're just a humanoid mutant scientific freak,

We all know it, we searched the whole CD for your subliminal cliques!

Dr. Princess:

You call me a nerd, what you call the lab jacket you're wearing now,

I know, even though, that Ice King is my sweetheart deep down,

Do you think he still remembers who are you, his foolish EX?

Go back to the Underworld; you lose, because you lost it yourself!

So that's it. Don't worry, I'll still be making this rap battles until the end of this vacation. Goodbye!


	9. Lumpy Space Princess vs Tree Trunks

Hi! I'm back from the last year, and back with new disses and rhymes of the newly-celebrated year of 2013! To start, I thank guy101 for the suggestion of the past rap battle and bigredfox101 for this rap battle. And now, let us see two of the most famous characters spitting out rhymes and mathematical crimes! Let's start!

Featuring:

The Princess of Lumpy Space, LUMPY SPACE PRINCESS!

The Masters of the Apple Pie, TREE TRUNKS!

BEGIN!

LSP:

Oh mah glob, like what the glob should I suppose to spit mah rhymes to?

Oh, that's right, I must fight this idiot globbing rude named YOU,

Good glob it, let's get on to it, so how are you today, eh?

I heard you were getting yourself arrested 'coz of an apple, what've you got to say?

Can't you bother to hide when you make out with that disgusting pig?

Like, what the lump, not where a book, sandwich or Jake's boots is?

Can't you, lumpin', like, not be oblivious what's a blessing and curse?

And I'm, like, 100% sure, that puttin' on make-up won't work!

TT:

Don't act like you didn't do it to became Finn and Jake's secretary,

I bake pies but you need food delivered just so you can eat freely,

Spoiled brat, you better watch out for this mean lady here,

Got the crystal apple, now, be roasted to death in fear!

Kid, you've got no manners, but you're like a man, geddit?

And you're just treating everything like it's a drama skit,

Girl, you've know nothing more about true love than I did,

Because you've just broke up with Brad, dim-witted!

LSP:

Glob, you're so old that you don't know your own crimes,

While I'mmah tell this lumpin' idiot how to rhyme,

Please, glob it, I hope you knew people care for you,

Oh, you don't, you left Finn jacked up and bruised!

Call me a drama skit? Call meh the matchmaker!

And I demand that you and Pig are not for each other,

Glob, what glob-forsaken apple would turn you insane?

And want to, like, annoy Finn, then marry him, the pain!

Tree Trunks:

Be careful with your mouth, lady, I meant your bite!

Are you really that scary enough to scare people and not fight?

I, at least, have a house, you slept in the woods like a hobo,

And what princess uses garbage as clothes, ya dingo?

You should love ya mother, she's the only one you got left,

Don't wait for that time until she drops dead,

"Lady, don't cha know we love you, sweet lady,

Dear mama, place no one above ya, sweet lady,

You are appreciated; don't cha know we love ya?"

So that's my ninth battle of the season. Shout out to Tupac! The last four lines are the chorus of "Dear Mama", so shout out to mothers everywhere! You know we love you! So there we go. And I had prepared a surprise after I got 10 favs. Peace!


	10. Special Tribute

Finally, here is the promo for 10 favorites! I'll be posting it as a separate chapter because it's a bit long. Now here is a heart-warming special for Ice King and Marceline, which would take off your eyes for rap battles and drunk-off hate and instead listen to the tale on how they met and discovered each other' s fates.

Song: Hear My Voice

Artist: Marceline Abadeer

Songwriter: ADarkSide0125

[Verse 1]

As I float alone in my home, I began to groan,

And wondered how I was the only girl in the warzone,

Where people used to die and sacrifice their lives,

For this war that pried my family completely this time,

Yeah, I'll always know I'll always be this burdened girl,

Abandoned and unrespected by this evil cursed world,

My father told me I was the demon who must protect his pearl,

While my mother used to say I was the Earl in this world,

But now it's absurd, because everyone looks down at her,

The little half-demon who was nearly murdered and hurt,

I said that don't redempt the remaining hope that was left,

Because one day I'll get away from this place for myself,

And for the dead soldiers who blasted their heads,

On soon was their deathbed, for me and them,

Citizens who fought and gunned away those who offend,

Who spent the entirety of their men for fighting hell itself,

I don't know if I could act and escape this hellish wrath,

And whether I could still find and have my parents back,

Until I met this cold wizard from the war of the revered,

He cared enough to bear the effort to find a teddy bear,

It was heart-warming to see someone who cares this much,

Even at this time, I only have just met him once,

I was succumbed to the happiness because it begun,

The wish I asked for responded and has gladly given me one,

Person to shun all of the danger I had forgone,

And at the same time ushering me to have some fun,

[Chorus]

As the snowflakes drop along the ground by me,

You'll see the rubies shone upon the eyes of the Ice King,

Simon, if you hear my voice inside of your head,

Then remember that you'll be saluted never end,

[Verse 2]

Beyond every paradise is a curse that unfolds,

Even beyond what Simon Petrikrov's lecture had told,

He was growing suppressed and scaffolding his hair,

And groan in his bed, what has gone and flowing in his head?

What has motivated him to stop being cold as a bear?

What had slowed his movements and grown insane in despair?

I approached his desk one day and noted the letters,

But I couldn't comprehend what the document renders,

I must have snoozed interpreting while doing my errands,

But as he knew I tampered, he postponed being my parent,

He became so sober and over the Homer he manoeuvre,

As an outlander and artefact finder and father altogether,

He better be better and off the depressors he pressures,

Because his treasures are precious and delicate to messin'

It escalated when he pushed me severely down to the ground,

And I cried so bitterly when he went out and left now,

But then he came back and embraced me with his arms,

And when he said, "Sorry, I didn't brace myself to do any harm,"

I was stunned, because as he raised me in his icy palms,

The dum dum of the heart he had never paced again to pump,

He said, "I'm sorry, the crown made me crazy and numb,

And got me so I was unable to control what I done,"

Then he left me a month after he made clear of that point,

That the crown continued to sneer and make him annoyed,

I was screaming, "Stop, wait for me here and let me join,"

But he was gone while I was crying in fear and turmoil,

[Chorus]

As the snowflakes drop along the ground by me,

You'll see the rubies shone upon the eyes of the Ice King,

Simon, if you hear my voice inside of your head,

Then remember that you'll be saluted never end,

[Verse 3]

Simon Petrikrov, this time you know I'm talking to you,

Not the king of ice you had become and embodied, too,

Why could not I understand the pain you have shot me through,

And the pain and effort you have endured just to adopt me true?

The queen of the vampires bows down at you by my gratitude,

And if you have a problem that I can fix, just ask me too,

Because I need to repay what you given to me and propped anew,

On how I became so formidable and not on you,

You know, when I got powers I used to sneak on what you're doin'

And always observe the soliloquy you got to bein'

You unconsciously give me my first living pal I had in,

A decade all because of your desire to marry hot ladies and,

After you got that pretty pinkish royal and locked it,

It was Bonnie and she was the first girl I had then to interact with,

I became her caretaker and there had begun the conflict,

But I could still remember the happiness I got so fond in,

And Finn deserves to meet another human again,

And understand how we used to endure through old days then,

And I knew I couldn't do it without you, who had spent,

An entire year and a half in guiding me to firmly stand,

I owe to the Ice King my whole life, and I will never lose it truly,

A full-hearted tribulation which renewed me fully,

If you couldn't revitalize what you have done for me,

I will still have a part of you which flows through internally,

And if I say I remember you, but you don't remember me,

I let the tears drop, but my life will rest with you eternally.

[Chorus]

As the snowflakes drop along the ground by me,

You'll see the rubies shone upon the eyes of the Ice King,

Simon, if you hear my voice inside of your head,

Then remember that you'll be saluted never end,

[Outro]

Simon….please remember me.

So that's the promo. I kinda feel sad about the whole Marcy and Simon family relationship, so I decided that this will be the prize. If you liked it, review and give me suggestions of what I can do when you give 25 favorites. Hope it isn't too late for you to start hating me. I'm telling you, watch the rhymes I made. It's pretty very multisyllabic. Thnx!


	11. Lady Rainicorn vs Margaret

So, I'm back again for a new rap battle. Sorry, if I disappointed you in the promo, but here is some new s*** you'd like to see. Enjoy!

* * *

Mother to two kids, wife to Joshua the Dog, let's welcome MARGARET!

Mother to five kids, wife to Jake the Dog, let's welcome LADY RAINICORN!

BEGIN!

Margaret:

Holdup, this is the beast my youngest son had chosen to love!?

I expected a better girlfriend than this excuse of a dump,

You better phase through that wall if you don't want another war,

I ain't racist, but you're such a rowdy Korean retard!

You ain't playin, when Jake's sayin' you will try anything,

Try to f*** with us while you're wearing your power rings,

Don't change the color, coz' I know you'd totally detest,

That your colors are the universal translator for gayness!

Lady:

여성 마법 개에서 음성 만 마법을 긁어,

(Wait a sec. Universal Translator is repaired. Move on!)

Spoken from a female magic dog but scratch the magic,

You don't have the right thing to say to get my a** kicked,

Jake, remember always that your mother sucks,

And her accent is as boring as her own music box!

Jake Junior's right when she said your manual's a bunch of junk,

And your supposed 'parenting' on Finn and Jake goes really donk,

For me, a female dog should be called a b****, not a mistress,

Don't cry, 'coz you won't be getting any love and kisses!

Margaret:

I can't believe Jake got so tempted by your ugly appearance,

No wonder Jake Jr. I inherited your f***in' intemperance,

You think green, you feel blue, but now I see black and red,

Hide in your stable with the horses, because right now you'll be dead!

Lady:

Jake, I know you love your mother, but I have to take her down,

Little known fact is that I'll be taking her to the Underworld now,

There'll be reasons you'll need to debate, your love is at stake,

But who do you think is the best lady for you, Jake?

* * *

So, after three months I finally made my comeback and starting to do this again. Hope you enjoy. Again, sorry if the promo was bad. I'm out.

* * *

Jake: I choose…sandwich!


	12. Earl of Lemongrab vs Goliad

Hi again. This time, I'll be presenting another rap battle! This time, I completely decided who will be included here, but I still accept suggestions! Thank you so much for viewing my story. Full thanks at the end, enjoy!

* * *

In His Royalness, we present the sour EARL OF LEMONGRAB!

Future heir of the Candy Kingdom, roll out for GOLIAD!

BEGIN!

Lemongrab:

This 'sphinx' is actually Mother Princess's supposed heir?

You cannot even learn how to rule and govern fair!

This creature's a waste of a tooth and eighty-three hours,

This British accented beast only just causes mental harm!

Forever be standing in a psychic combat, oh how sad,

Your raps might finally make me properly laugh!

You made me do this so when you're crushed it's all your fault,

Too young to beat me, I deem it UNACCEPTABLE!

Goliad:

You ain't got nothing powerful except your screaming blade,

I don't have to open your head to have access to your brain,

Who's this rigamarole who screams "Unacceptable!" since birth,

While I make my lyrics doper by spicing up the dirt!

(Starts speaking fast)

I learned in analogy that you is to me equals royal is to nothing,

This Lemongrease's gotta be cool, or he'll need reconditioning,

No stroke, cuddle and snuggle will appease your lemon ways,

I didn't have to control you with my third eye to win this game!

Lemongrab:

It all takes a baby Finn to foil you entering my mind,

My anger is a Stormo which will torment you with rhymes,

You're made with a pretty standard wack-rhyme-lyric soup,

Seven years, no trials, for wasting my time against you!

Goliad:

You're neither mild nor spicy, but you're only just lonely,

Just live with your lemon wife in your sour residency,

One fact is for sure, is that one day you will die,

Because you lost against me, and this time I'm totally right!

* * *

Thank you for viewing this rap battle. Don't forget to review if this rap battle is dope or wack, and fav and follow! Thank you, AKA99, Corvette 6Z 06, Eggletine The Breakfast Princess, EmoBlackie, KayrotheLunatic, Keneolazer, LessThanThreexoxo, MorenoX25, TNBCcrazed, The God Emperor 777, Zombie 12, adventuretimedrama and gamelover41592 for the favs. Thnx!


	13. Breakfast Princess vs Wildberry Princess

Hello, everyone! I'm back. You have noticed that I've been updating quicker than usual. I have been trying to catch up again, since I've been missing for three months. So, here it is. Enjoy.

* * *

Featuring:  
Princess of the Breakfast Kingdom, let's welcome BREAKFAST PRINCESS!  
Princess of the Wildberry Kingdom, let's welcome WILDBERRY PRINCESS!

Begin!

Breakfast Princess:  
My raps make your eyes pop up, just like your berries,  
Bet Ice King's raised eyebrows make your eyes blurry,  
Better be off with that ice witch, coz' you like silver foxes,  
These raps make you sleep faster than when Finn's music box hits!

Sis, give me the phone,I'll give a new form of torture,  
This basketball's hit you more than the meat pies you can butcher,  
Finn won't sleep on you, coz' you're never be as wild as he,  
Like your right arm, you will lose this battle very easily,

Wilberry Princess:  
I'm sure you're a joke I cracked like your egg feet,  
Your Kingdom is somewhere hobos steal in discreet,  
How can you be royalty, that 'crown' is a useless waste,  
That hotcake skirt's so high up you may get egg on your face!

I have a line of berry juices with me as the poster girl,  
I still got a family while you only got a little sister, (Haha!)  
You ain't sweet but I'm sure Ice King considers you as his honey,  
Why is this princess giving my taste a run for its money?

Breakfast Princess:  
Upside-Down Princess, a.k.a. Princess Please-Let-Me-Go-Home,  
Do you think things will change politically because you blow?  
You probably could not stand hearing another meow again,  
Until then, I'm gonna assume the role of deadly assassin!

Wildberry Princess:  
Inside, I look like a cherry 'coz I'm always put on top,last  
My lyrics are so dope that you immediately break so fast,  
These raps are so straight, can't no princess f*** with this now,  
You think you're so edible? "Ice King, rape her and eat her out!"

* * *

Comment on who you think you won, because I will base it for the next round of more battles to go until the first round is finsihed, so don't forget to review, fav, follow and add suggestions to see who won in all the rap battles I had made so far! Goodbye!


	14. Peppermint Butler vs Businessmen

Hi. Things are going to change around here, and I want you all to listen (or read). Firstly, we're going to have a rematch of Chapter 5 on Chapter 20. I heard all about the positive reviews, and Mr. nin10do's request for a rematch. Second, some couples you folks reviewed are accepted. These include: Lemongrab vs. NEPTR (by) Flame Princess vs. Susan Strong (by DarkVoid1013), Flame Prince vs. Marshall Lee (by LessThanThreexoxo), an others that you have seen recently. Now, let's begin!

* * *

Featuring:

Royal Butler to the Princess of The Candy Kingdom, let's welcome PEPPERMINT BUTLER!

Loyal Helpers of FInn and Jake, let's welcome the BUSINESSMEN!

Begin!

Peppermint Butler:

Misters, you well-dressed pickles know that this will hurt,

I have a cooling effect that will retrap you in an iceberg,

When I spit, your happiness will never be my priority, man,

This is a prank, but I'm sure you won't be getting any laughs!

I've got more evil connections than all of you combined,

You may be look evil, but none as much evil as mine,

Let's get down to business, no water or orange slices required,

When mint is taken off my name, you guys will totally get fired!

Businessmen: (one by one)

We don't want beef, but you're not giving up the spatula,

Remember that his eye was burned by that princess's formula?

Speaking of, the princess still trusts him after he killed a goblin,

You know what this dude did when the Lich possessed her? Nothing!

We know how to conduct the right business and establish it well,

While you are basically a slave by that does whatever she tells,

When we fight against you, there's no need for taking notes,

'Coz we know we can freestyle you down with only just one blow!

Peppermint Butler:

I got help by my homies named Hunson Abadeer and Death,

You're out of trend because you're the only businessmen left,

I sure don't "flambe", but I "Perfecto!" when I roast you all,

I'm surprised four big dudes lose against someone this small!

Red-Tie Businessman:

I know you want to battle, so leave off the playful food fights,

This man's so small, he will never win and get the ultimate prize,

You can't reach a good man, so you got no good aspirations,

Never in your freaking life would you get a single tribulation!

* * *

So, that's it. Review to let me know 1.)who won, 2.)some suggestions, and 3.)what line you didn't understand, so I'll explain it to you. Fav and Follow, and thanks for reading!


	15. Muscle Princess vs Susan Strong

Hello! I'm back for new rap battles, and I'm sorry if didn't return to this after a couple of days. Yep, the announcement I made is right. A new rematch of the four-way battle will happen in chapter 20, since I received many positive comments about it. Anyway, begin!

* * *

This is the battle of the strongest, yet the words decide the brawn!

From the blue corner, let's welcome MUSCLE PRINCESS!

From the red corner, let's welcome SUSAN STRONG!

Begin!

Muscle Princess:

This fist of words hit your brain, wait, did I even blew one?

Because Finn's will be, for sure, you fat-a**ed hyooman,

You're really lower than me, and don't take that literally,

This princess's a flower reddened to burn you completely!

That dump-born dress makes Ms. Strong un-Susan-itary,

While I'm respected by many, you discovery's arbitrary,

Out of the ordinary, to list it all might be too long,

Yet you don't know how your surname became Strong!

Susan:

You troll, your muscles terrible but no let down your hair,

Got me whole gang, versus only you arms and yourself,

Me fast in learning, decline offer to take thing slow,

You don't float you "princess" so we don't take boat,

Finn don't love you, I sure that you only desperate,

Even lil' nice dude isn't interested in you for first date,

Me name is Susan Strong, coz' I break fourth wall,

That your voice actor is man, now what is your call?

Muscle Princess:

No grass stains for you anymore, I'm lifting you high in the air,

You care more for your stupidity than arranging your hair,

Also no candy for you, coz' this next lyric will not be sweet,

You don't belong here, go home and admit your defeat!

Susan Strong:

Me wrestle you badly you no be dancing like this bug,

You no red stripe man, but I say you incrementally suck!

This marsh be fleeing coz' now me become not mellow,

Ice King wrong, you no beautiful, Beautopia, close window!

So, yeah. As before:

Review if you don' understand a line so I will explain it to you, suggest rap battles (remember they should be fighting for a title) and tell who won in this battle.

Follow and favorite. I usually update when someone has followed me.

Stay tuned for chapter 20!

Thank you!


	16. Ice Queen vs Princess Cookie

I'm back! Now, I present to you a new rap battle! Thanks to all for helping me reach 100 reviews! I really don't have anything to say right now, so here we go!

* * *

Featuring:

Rule 63 of the cold-blooded, insane king of ice, welcome the ICE QUEEN!

Insane in the membrane, yet with an ambition, holler for PRINCESS COOKIE!

Begin:

Ice Queen:

It's official that my C-list has you with a check, mate,

You broke into pieces, that's why your mind's in a wrecked state,

A hex may, cheer you up, but I'm sure you'll just fall down,

This baby snapped, otherwise why would he want a girl's crown?

I'm notorious; this Oreo's story is chipping off the old block,

Can a shadow and a milk man lose against you? I guess not,

Freeze, the police will be relieved to reel you at ease,

This cookie's never been a villain and as grim as me!

Princess Cookie:

For me, you're the real tomboy, isn't that right, you whack tool,

Why do you date girls a thousand years younger than you?

It's not the crown that turned her insane; the crown caught her crazy,

"Oh, Fionna, oh Fionna," those words are not fake as they may seem!

You think you so fly, Ice Queen, with those eyebrows you're using?

I can break your ice, so, how're the princes you've been abusing?

No ransom for me to stop insulting, you can see all the results and,

Glob, I'll be flipping you cold, dead; bow down or I'll resume assaulting!

Ice Queen:

We don't need helicopters or soldiers to take out this guy,

I ate all his chips to my delight of hearing his cry,

Easy to crack the case before you died over the gor-ge,

I'm violent to everything as long as it's fat and orange,

My past memory includes eating your kind before the war,

Also the crown caused me to be insane, not like how you are,

I'm queen; I jump farther than what you can expect from Jake,

I raised Cake, so I can least tell for sure that you are half-baked!

Princess Cookie:

You'll never, ever, be Cake's sis, yet I step against evil sisters,

I'm orange 'coz I'm the morning sun needed to take care of business,

No predatoring, Snow Bunny, you won't ice-block my game,

Won't pause, paws off me, coz' I know you'd prefer a dame!

Yep, I'm insane, but I can thaw you using Alvin's hot juice box,

Eight versus one, you're between a hard place and a rock,

You're still an act of fiction, storyboarded to be a whore,

So, while we're stored in this asylum, how'd you like my sword?

* * *

So, that's that. Hope you like it. I've been out for a couple of days for me to reach 100 reviews. Thanks you for Black-Silver-White for posting the 100th review, since reviews usually motivate me to continue these battles. Review who's the winner, suggestions and clarifications, follow and favorite because those are my inspirations for writing. Again, thank you for reading!


	17. Prismo vs The Lich King

Okay, so now I'll be having a dilemma here. We're having two extras in Chapter 20" the rematch and a match between Goliad and Stormo. It's mainly because I don't have enough data regarding Stormo there. Because you keep suggesting the duo mentioned above, I will try to do that, just for you guys. Now, we begin!

* * *

Dweller and Wish-Master of the Multiverse, hail ALMIGHTY PRISMO!

King of the Liches and Destructor of Life, bow down to the LICH KING!

Begin!

Prismo:

Yo, Lich King, have you noticed your face has a big footprint on it?

I hang around with deities, you hang around with snails and bear s***,

My flow is venomous; I don't need your mouthwash to make it lethal,

Destroy you like the Enchiridion so knee-bending it isn't even legal!

I don't need my wishes or rip portals for the extinction of your life,

My mind's on fire waiting to burst, so wear these gems to be all right,

Don't tell me, aside from life, you also hated to speak and imply words,

Prismo's talent can't fit a Time Room, I think to construct a Multiverse!

The Lich:

You chose existence as a pink shadow, this being is not conceptual,

And I didn't need an egg to prove that you are a homosexual,

The powers you have manifested include a remote and Jacuzzi,

When I came, I didn't bring games, realize I'm not being sloozy!

You wouldn't reflect s*** off me even if you like-like a mutt a lot,

After this, I'll leave some kid traumatized, right here on the spot,

I'm the bomb, so atomic; I was the culprit to why the war started,

Ssssshhhhhh….. hear the sound of your verses being barfed at!

Prismo:

Look at your army: a princess, hero, bear and a lowly snail, no lie,

See how weak you are, after I pull this sweater through your eyes,

I spit plutonium more intense than the Gauntlet, who says you're cunning?

You're not scary, but enough to make your pitch document funny!

Finn says your mouth smells like decay, so sip your coffee,

Wave, but in surrender, to show that you're sleeping off me,

See that? Jake's paws, now realize you lost your only wish, leased,

You think you can go home to Ooo after this? B**** PLEASE!

Lich:

You're not honorary nasty so you can't sync to this nasty jazz,

My lyrics could evaporate potential worlds and make you spaz,

I summon skeletons so much that your closet couldn't compare,

After this, you will never discuss about dinner again, I swear!

When I asked you to choose a letter, you picked L 'coz you're lame,

And in the sense you never stood up straight, you fall in every way,

You abuse your powers by being gay but you sure don't f*** with me,

How much liters have you pissed when you learned Finn fears me greatly!

* * *

Thank you very much for supporting me from the very beginning. I don't know why, but I think that this rap battle didn't have the 110% epicness In had presented since my hiatus. Well, review, favorite, follow and thank you very much. AIM: 150 reviews! 25 FAVS!


	18. Hunson Abadeer vs Grob Gob Glob Grod

I'm back! Okay, I have a request to beseech thou readers. A hundred reviews! See how much of an achievement is that! Continue to read and inform others about my story to gain more reviews and views! I appreciate it!

* * *

Deity of the Planet of Mars, welcome GROB GOB GLOB GROD!

Deity of the Nightosphere, welcome HUNSON ABADEER!

Begin!

Glob: (one by one)

One thing for sure, you're the softest demon I've ever seen,

He's pissed 'coz I didn't invite him to our fivesome with Marceline,

You call yourself a leader after being b****-slapped by a penguin,

Throw the bird at us and we will flip it back at you and still win,

Claimin' you're completely evil, our souls are in our d***s so suck it,

Instead of stompin' on ants, we now are used to kick your bucket,

Pink boxers, necklace and pupils, really? No wonder the demons hate thee,

With so much drama with this S-H-E, it's kinda hard for you to be with Marcy!

Hunson Abadeer:

Your weak powers can be obtained by rolling in the mud,

Grod, I sure don't sketch s*** but I sure draw a lot of blood,

All your eyes are so squinted you didn't realize you're fully pink,

Remember the time you got bald? Let that memory sink in!

My kicks can take you down, but don't drop your Wand of Despersement,

I'm darker than you, in both senses; I'm the shadow of your judgment,

See how I'm killing you and making you soil yourself without a choice,

We take things in court, but your political rap surely has no voice!

Glob: (one by one)

Did your rap turned into some kind of lute? This Olympus now erupts,

In this field, we use some force, so now I've gotta max the bass up,

You are what you eat, so this dark one's basically a super good sucka!

We expand like the Earth Theory, so run back home to your momma!

I've got some fries here, but don't follow what my brother said,

Or else little Marcy's gonna run back and hug old Simon again!

How's your little statue erase my whole religious church from existence,

I'm more respected, talk to these forty-two million demons in one sentence!

Hunson:

How can you defeat me when your quartered brain has been separated,

Your best friend has his own coin, but you'll never be bills, as stated,

Even how much evil am I, you'll never put me in trial for my crimes,

Is your raps the equivalent of your community song this time?

Your blue-white sword is no match, especially against MAH D*** MAN!

I won't tickle someone pink but after this, you'll never float or stand,

While you banish your brother, I gave my daughter my whole kingdom at haste!

Just realized I need her and the duo to help me b****-slap your f***ing face!

* * *

So, that's that. Another breaking news! We'll be including Roselinen in chapter 20, which makes it a five-way battle, similar to the season 2 finale of ERB. Again, thank you very much for the support, and review, fav and follow. Bye!


	19. Party Pat vs Jake the Dog

Hi again. Chapter 20 is coming near, and I want y'all to see this. At this time, I now truly appreciate every single review you give me. Not being emotional, but I spend some of my time checking if I have any new reviews, favs or follows. I promise, if you keep doing this, I will, and I will, keep doing this as long as you continue to support me. FOREVERRRR! Haha. Okay, back to studio.

* * *

The party stopped. All the Bears looked at the direction of the announcer.

"The rap battle is starting!" many bears whispered out.

* * *

Partied so much that the Party God gave him credit, holler for Jake The Dog!

Partied so much that its principles were fully mastered, holler for Party Pat!

Jake:

Excuse me, Party Pat, but the Lich's cave is over there,

You cover up your stomach picture so it's official you don't care,

I show you how it's done, with this swag, no need for bravada,

You suck so much, so get down my belly and swallow my lava!

Your posse's a pain in the a**, for realsies coz' my brother's right,

My raps are like lasers, pointing at you but not the gentle type,

Meanwhile, please tell me who and where the actual Chief is,

I hang impostors like streamers, like this dog's usual business!

Party Pat:

You can't reach this party lord, even if you stretch door to door,

Instead of walking your tiny dog, you impregnated a whore,

This battle is a stretch, yet I know you still have your limit,

I have cards up my sleeve, this is war with the party spirits!

Begs the question: would he let Finn date the girl even if the world ends?

What kind of dog pretends to be Cinnamon Bun's girlfriend?

My subconscious tells me you're going down just like that fallen witch,

You'll never win in this rap game, so just wish for a sandwich!

Jake:

I'll eat you up, turn you to stuff but won't cry over your grave,

In reply, what bear wants to be inside a monster's gut and form a rave?

Baron of the Grasslands here, diagnosing, you've got poo-brain too!

No need for me to lure some snakes to lethally poison you!

You'll never reach my level coz' I add bacon to my pancakes,

Bad biscuits make the baker broke, so for old time's sake,

Get ready Party Pat, because now I'll fling the perfect throw,

Your mind's eye's fake, that's why you'll never be dope!

Party Pat:

While this "hero" sleeps in a closet, I sleep in a blood waterbed,

You don't know how to rap, so sing cause' yo mama, yo mama said,

Class is for men, so just jam ice cream to toasters for some luck,

While I'm making raps that will scare the filling out of your doughnut!

Your constant harassment of the female gender makes me sick,

What kind of powers are that! You can't even stretch your d***,

This Party Pat will kick you aside because you're just a sidekick, bro

You think you'll win in this battle? You're dreaming, but you still don't know!

* * *

So that's that. Be patient for chapter 20, which will include the Stormo vs. Goliad battle and the five-way battle! As I said, thank you very much and review, fav and follow to inspire me to continue this series. I'm out!


	20. 100 Reviews' Promo

This is it. Chapter 20. After this, two more battles will be left until the end of the preliminary rap battles and focus to the big stuff. This time, I will try to make this into a story, with a plot line and events and stuff like that. Okay. Let's begin!

* * *

Princess Bubblegum said to Peppermint Butler, "So you take full responsibility for the Candy Palace and the Kingdom while I am out for the Grand Meeting of Ooo Royalty. I hope this place will be as tranquil and as Candy as it was before, got it?"

"Yes, your highness," Peppermint Butler replied.

"Well, I'm gonna scram," said Princess Bubblegum, then called for the Morrow.

"MORROW, AWAY!" Princess Bubblegum screamed as the two ventured into the Badlands, where the royal meetings will be held.

* * *

Goliad and Stormo were watching these events unfold while still engaging in the psychic battle, when Goliad whispered, "I think we can stop now." Stormo nodded and stretched its limbs, which were a bit noodly, like Finn's.

Goliad looked out into the sunshine, "Ah. It's good to have some quality time with my brother." Stormo nodded off in reply.

"But something has been building up in my mind lately," she said. Stormo cawed, which Goliad understood as "Why is that?"

"I think it's because I'm wondering if who our mother prefers the most. For me, I think it was probably me, since she created me first in the first place, and she wanted the best for me."

The griffin made a noise that said, "Pfft, she had to make me to stabilize you."

"If I hadn't turned crazy with my powers, you wouldn't have even been created. Plus, PB gave her full DNA to me, and she used Finn's DNA for you, you loser!"

Stormo clasped his beak, growled and chirped, "You want to bet on it?"

"Yeah!"

"Challenge accepted."

* * *

Featuring the pink sphinx, welcome GOLIAD!

Featuring the white griffin, welcome STORMO!

Begin!

Stormo:

Sister, you should know, I'm the one advanced, you're belated,

Don't bother to write the date for your birthday coz' you're berated,

She even put a royal knight's hair for me to be created,

Go out and direct some citizens into a mouth for you to be hated!

Use that beautiful brain, girlfriend, oh, wait, it's already corrupted,

Mother might have inserted a d*** in, coz' you're f***ed in the head,

I'll disassemble you lyrically, no means you could elude and,

You're insane coz' your mixture has Cinnamon Bun included!

Goliad:

This battle won't last forever coz' I'll win, that's why you're bummed,

I'll try not to spit some blonde jokes, but you're basically lower than dumb,

You're kicking up a storm, but like your weenie, it's still so small,

PB put one in my head coz' she knew I'm a mindf*** to y'all!

You're already pale, alarmed of losing, you could not solve these riddles,

You're just twitter-ing crap, chances to win are thin as Jake's fiddle,

This battle is only in our freakin' thoughts, are you really that mental?

I'll be flippin' the temperature of this rap to make you temperamental!

Stormo:

The one who rules must be white and yellow, but not the other Lemongrab,

Stop making d*** jokes, you hairy, bald prick right outta the lab,

This Sphinx-ter is a pain in the bum, I'll tell you now straight why,

Give me eighty-three hours, a princess and someone who's hypnotized!

My raps are fast, calm and has no mistakes, coz' I'll definitely beat you,

Even if you read my mind and start from scratch, I'm sure you still lose,

I squawk like a great Don Juan, coz' this Cherry Tempo sure ain't sweet,

Goliad, I beseech fere to open thy eye to oncnawan thine defeat!

Goliad:

Glob, I should've flipped the bird, but it might have fallen out of the tower,

Are you even candy, or considered to be my younger brother?

Yeah, I knew I got corrupted, but I'm sure it was Jake who did it,

You're just your DNA: mixed-up, alone, flipping out and dim-witted!

It's my way or the highway, floating you up and stop making you move,

This guy's less complex and sane than these stuck-together cubes,

Two siblings in a pyschic showdown, but it sure ain't stale, mate,

Gaze into my crystal ball, you see your loss in your mindstate!

* * *

Princess Bubblegum headed into the Badlands and watches the other royalty as she began to sit down in one of the chairs. She noticed Marceline looking at her, with dislike, and quickly turned away. She also saw Flame Princess. "Wait, why is she here?" she asked, whispering, to Princess Princess Princess. the blonde hair replied, "She's here because of Fire Kingdom Law. She automatically attends here if the Flame King is not available."

Princess Bubblegum looked at her. She seemed peeved. The meeting went smoothly, and as Flame Princess is about to go back to the Tree Fort, Princess Bubblegum grabbed her arm. It burned, but she could handle it. "I need to talk to you."

Flame Princess looked irritable. "Yeah, what is it?"

The Princess said, "Listen, I know you don't like this but you probably should break up with Finn."

Flame Princess's expression contorted into rage. "WHAT!" She shouted, startling the other royalty, who were now quickly fleeing away.

Princess Bubblegum tried to keep calm, but her grasp on Flame Princess grew weak as it began to burn. "Finn might be injured! Did you ever consider Ooo's safety!"

Flame Princess turned crimson red. She pulled out her arm and directed a fiery gaze at Bubblegum. She sneered and exclaimed, "Did you ever consider Finn's _feelings_?"

The Candy Princess looked offended. "You're challenging me?"

FP sneered. "Bring it on, princess."

* * *

Welcoming back the past rematch, welcome the PRINCESS OF THE CANDY KINGDOM!

Hot and smoking, let's give a holla to the PRINCESS OF THE FIRE KINGDOM!

Begin!

Princess Bubblegum:

I'm a legitimate princess, but why are you placed in the lowest tier?

You're like Marceline: father drama; words too cold for Finn to hear,

Even without a kiss from a hero, I'll burn you alive so low,

Your closet's crumbling, I suggest you get a vault of bones!

You'll not live long, turn it backwards, as Flame King was saying,

Raps colder than my Liquid Pyrotechnics to leave you in pain,

Ooo's royalty's stain, burn a Goblin Kingdom, what're playin,

FYI, I'm the one who locked you inside a lantern, you dame!

Flame Princess:

Why do you care for Finn, but treat him like a slave, you freak,

With my mouth, I'll blow up Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum for free,

Experiments failed, wack lyrics, are you sure you're too smart to see it?

Your body's a breeding ground for Lich-es, you should've gone and admit it!

My lyrics are hotter than my matrix, f*** lanterns and torches,

Realized I don't need ice to make this prim prude distorted,

What kind of girl slaps a savior after she kisses him at the hour,

I must ask, who made you green and bald? I'd like to send them flowers!

Princess Bubblegum:

This princess rules a kingdom, this one's desires to be a female Hulk,

Ouch, seems Finn thought it's over because of that single talk,

By this mind, I will win, but I'm sure you can't defy this nature,

Your relationship won't last long, this time I'm Grade-A sure!

I've got a split second to make you do the splits coz' you're only second,

Won't say nuthin' 'bout spectrum, but your wavelengths aren't what're reckon,

Finding an insane, dumb princess, Ice King? I know just the skirt,

You're butthurt, by my equations, I think it's because your butt hurt!

Flame Princess:

Even if you turn thirteen again, Finn's desire for your a** will be diminished,

You took Finn's land, so by my Flame Sword, you'll be considered finished,

Go back to Marceline, and give your Bubbline fan-art a chance,

I'd rather sanctify Finn's lips than being friends with you, you prat!

It ain't bloobalooby to always say this or that relationship is doomed,

Can science answer on how long I'll leave you under a table at school?

Recoil, you mortal, or I'll graciously give you some Freezer Burn Flu,

I ball with fire, gun machines down, I'm thinking, how about you?

* * *

Ice King was watching this battle derisively as the words came out of their mouths. "This is a good plan. The one who will lose will be my princess, and who wins gets Finn! Hee hee hee!" whispered Ice King to himself.

Marceline, who had overheard the battle, and didn't attend the meeting, said to herself, "I bet I could mess with this weenies for a couple for minutes," as she entered and pretended to be angry.

"You must be kidding, Finn is mine!" she said coldly, although pretending to be angry.

"What are you talking about!" FP shouted in fury.

"Marceline, stop making matters worse," Princess Bubblegum said.

"You're only sad coz' Finn hangs out more than me. PB," he sneered, pushing PB's chin up. "You treat him like a slave. And you," she jeered towards Flame Princess, "cannot even hold his hand without Finn burning or the end of the world. Got it?"

* * *

Marceline:

Princess, did you know, when you died, your goo smells like manure,

FP's raps are nonsense, coz' I can't sense the heat signature,

You girls are having your periods, but with this axe-bass, you'll fall to a coma!

PB, two Zombie Plagues ain't enough for you to get a f***ing diploma?

Flame Princess, scratch the physical, coz' you're mentally unstable, girl,

If Braco can't get your fancy, Finn needs to make himself a nerd,

I gave him one of my houses, what do you do? Command him to build one?

It cuts like a knife for Finn you rejecting him, oh wait, a scissor blade, hun!

By the way you're rapping FP, you're like reading a sappy poem,

PB's insults are like Finn's papers, bring 'em back and I throw 'em,

What are you saying, Flame Princess, "I hate Finn", you filthy hypocrite,

I can survive any threat you throw at me coz' I'm post-apocalyptic!

* * *

Flame Princess was seething in rage. "What the clam are you saying?" she screamed in anger. Princess Bubblegum could not blame her to be angry, after all that Marceline had said to the two of them.

[Beat changes]

Flame Princess:

Thinkin' you get Finn for yourself coz' you're brave and bold?

Who wants to date someone who's over a thousand years old?

Your kind is a pathetic symbol of sappy books and unreal love,

I promise I have never seen a vampire such as this soft!

Princess Bubblegum:

You'll never get some sugar from my kingdom, Marcy Aba-deer,

What's in those fries that you love more than your father, dear?

My rhymes are sick, in a way that Simon needs to get chicken soup,

You actually care for Finn, for me, I think that's a pretty big whoop!

Flame Princess:

Keep fooling your pride like that, then you'll be turned like Ash,

You're not adorable, but I'll still hack you to pieces in a flash,

I know you're floating, yet you've gone and had stooped so low,

You think this battle just started? ITS OVER, YOU PYSCHO!

Princess Bubblegum:

Are you even ruling some kind of kingdom, you smug looking b****?

Just be my slave, like when we got sucked by the bag of the Lich!

With science at my side, it's time I've gotten to pwning,

I've tampered with your teddy bear, I call it "hamboning"!

* * *

Ice King was watching from behind a chair, looking thoroughly pleased. He even had brought up a pillow to prop himself up with. "Looks like a queen decided to join the fight," he giggled uncontrollably. Suddenly, the fan fiction Ice King hides in his beard went towards the three and opened up, revealing Fionna as a holo-gram. She wore an expression that looked pissed off.

"Did somone say, "Finn's mine?"

Fionna:

If Finn is concerned, call me rabbit coz' this is a turtle race,

I'm sorry, PB, I'll spare Finn from having a robot in my place,

Marceline, your sappy songs are better than you rappin' crud,

Surely, I feel all warmed up inside when FP left Finn bugged,

This heroine may be stubby, but I'm sure you three are stubbed out,

Me spit harder than Marcy, but I never said you had to know what it's about!

Female Dracula has more weaknesses than someone this little,

FP isn't fit for the lantern, she should be in the mental hospital!

Help me find some rhymes for "useless loser", that's for PB, you see,

Marcy, with my savory rhymes I can't be sure you're gonna live eternally,

You three are admitting to losing? Sounds like it's gonna be large,

FP, did you know I'll slay anything which has a negative charge?

You all are evil, so get out, I meant GET OUT, not go out,

For Finn, I'll crush this candy sl**, I need a saga, no doubt,

Marcy, was that a date with PB, there was singing and junk!

FP, don't Flinn-ch, when I raise this axe and extinguish you up!

* * *

After this, the four of them were looking daggers at each others, and Ice King, knowing the three were suspecting where the book had come, hid under his pillow. But the pillow itself, began to manipulate into a figure known only in the Pillow World as "Finn's wife".

"What are you arguing about who gets Finn?" she asked.

The four looked at her in shock, then in anger. Then, Flame Princess said, "Who are you, exactly?"

"I'm Roselinen, daughter of mayor Quilton, of Pillow World, and Finn's wife," she declared, standing haughtily.

Roselinen:

[beat changes]

You've got no chance, you can't force me to write some kind of divorce,

Finn will never go back, like Braco, he'll just jump on your f***ing porch,

Cream Puff, Ash, Finn and Prince Gumball, like them you'll all be Xs,

I ain't got daughter issues, the one Marcy has is all that reckless,

FP, your "brain" can't understand why the chicken crosses the road,

You blew a fuse, that's why this short circuit should be just left alone,

But then, again, Fionna, your presence is just our imagination,

Stop fitting your names into Finn's, girls, it's only just infatuation,

Bubblegum, you're a wad but further details might paralyze you forever,

Vampire, you're white as a sheet, yet what you write there might not be clever,

You're just a cameo, Fi, which I let fall like CMO, C my M.O.?

Don't sleep on me, FP, don't start making such an angry emote!

Quiet, Princess, or it's seven years, no trials in my digestive tract,

M-arse-celine, beating me is a rock-paper-scissors thing, where it's at?

Y'all just jealous Finn's never been intimate with you, but only me,

Fionna, you're just Ice King's fantasy induced by heroin and E!

* * *

"Girls?" Finn asked.

Finn was standing there, face crimson red, while Jake, clutching his sides, tried not to giggle.

Princess Bubblegum was first, saying, "I have business to do, bye!" and sped off to the impatient Morrow.

Marceline said, "I've got a jam session," and made herself invisible.

Flame Princess whispered, mortified, "My dad called me. Bye, Finn!"

Fionna just disappeared and flung back to Ice Kings castle, where he fled, while Roselinen vanished from thin air.

* * *

Sorry for the delay, but this was extremely hard to make. I have a lot to say.

1.) Goliad, I beseech fere to open thy eye to oncnawan thine defeat! means "Goliad, I request my friend to open your eye to ackowledge your defeat.

2.) CMo is a cameo character only seen in "Puhoy."

3.) Review to say who won from these seven contestants, give suggestions, quote what's the best line, follow, fav, and continue to read!

* * *

"Trust me, dude, I don't know who that pillow girl is, but all of them were fighting to get you!"


End file.
